Journey to Healing and Joy

Triggers And Boundaries

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Triggers. We all know how they can throw us into a panic in seconds, and leave us spinning, even when we thought we were beyond such cycles. Like a wind out of nowhere, they rock our world. And they often result in relational conflict, because our partners don’t “get” why we are so edgy, reactionary, and fragile. But if both parties in the couple are on a recovery path, and trying to save their marriage, boundaries can make a huge difference. The right kind of “boundaries,” that is. And I have a great example for you of the kinds of boundaries I’m talking about.

Tags: Marsha Christy Kane Triggers Boundaies Marriage Success Story Interview

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Healthy Boundaries

In our MOM ON STRIKE! and 4 Myths About Boundaries newsletter, we saw how Christy put boundaries to the test with her two boys, complete with comic relief and real life, parental bravery. Christy also hit on 4 common myths about boundaries. Boundaries are not rules we place on others, nor are they controlling, punishing, or necessarily unforgiving. Boundaries protect the good, while keeping out the unacceptable. With that said, Christy has graciously allowed us to share the boundary agreement she and her husband, Dan, made in 2008.

Tags: Sexual Addiction Relationship Recovery Christy Kane Boundaries Boundary Agreement Boundary Examples Couples Healthy Boundaries

Read more: What Do Boundaries in Sexual Addiction Look Like?

 For most of us, boundaries prove to be one of the most misunderstood and most difficult skills we must learn on this journey. But Christy Kane, a former coach with A Circle of Joy who is now doing her practicum at Soul Work Counseling in Minneapolis, does a great job of shedding light on boundaries in the following pieces she wrote during her time on our team. And I think you will especially enjoy the comical—and effective—example in the first piece below in Christy’s thoughts on boundaries!

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Tags: Mom On Strike Christy Kane Coach Christy Christy Boundaries Boundary Myths

Read more: MOM ON STRIKE! and 4 Myths About Boundaries

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Who among us hasn’t been so shattered or angry about her husband’s sex addiction that she’s said or done things she wishes she could take back? Gratefully, very few of us lose control to the level 69-year-old Patricia Hill--a nurse and Sunday School teacher of Arkansas--did. But because there is always the danger that our humanity can flare, get us in trouble, and harm others, I want to share this heartbreaking story with you.

Tags: Marsha Sunday School Teacher Murder Emotions Patricia Hill Gun Pornography Shoot

Read more: Sunday School Teacher Sentenced to 16 Years After Murdering Her Husband Because of Pornography

Self-Awareness & Our Healing

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I hadn’t thought much about the role self-awareness plays in our healing until I asked a former client what treasure she had found because of her healing journey. Her answer? “Self-awareness.” But I haven’t stopped pondering that conversation since. And I’ve discovered she is absolutely correct! Learning to live in self-awareness can be labeled a treasure, but it is also a necessary tool for our healing. How is it so essential? you might ask, just as I did. But now I know the answer to that question.

Tags: Healing, Marsha Self-Aware Mindfulness Processing 90 Minute Cycle Feelings List Trauma Chest

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