If you haven’t bumped into him yet, I want to introduce you to world-renowned psychiatrist and neurologist, Dr. Daniel Amen. You can find him on PBS, Ted Talks, YouTube, and elsewhere, simply by “Googling” him.
I first found Dr. Amen in the early 2000’s.
If we don’t fully understand detachment, it sounds and feels like a loss of control. And when you’re married to a sex addict, loss of control feels dangerous. So instinctively, we do the opposite and strive to control. And in truth, when your husband is involved in inappropriate sexual behavior, much of your life is out of your control! You can’t count on him to care more about you than his selfish behaviors, and because your lives are so intimately entwined, his addiction creates chaos in your life too. And never knowing when you’ll be hurt again is like living through an unending earthquake. The ground beneath your life and marriage constantly shifts, and nothing remains stable.